It was a warm and relaxing Friday evening when, ice cream cone in hand, I left the safety of my favorite local ice cream shop, and glanced upon the display window of the adjacent delicatessen:
If you are like me (as you should be) you will notice that the person who wrote the menu boards was not sure of how he wanted to spell pastrami, and thus shrewdly evaded the issue by hedging his bet. My hats off to this person. After all, why alienate the pastramy eaters in the group if you don’t have to?
But after a moment, something else caught my eye:
You'll notice in this menu board that the word pudding is incorrectly spelled as pooding. What's the big deal, one might ask? A spelling error won't keep anyone from purchasing a nice big pie pan full of baked noodle pudding, whatever that is. If only it were that simple.
Further investigation, with the help of a legitimate online dictionary, revealed the truth:
Admittedly, I would have been wary of eating a dish called noodle pudding. But I was wholly unprepared for the unspeakable horrors inherent in the dish known as noodle pooding. Read on:
It gets even worse:
Dirty bastard, indeed. How many people have eaten this unholy stew without knowing the truth? I shudder to think what would’ve happened to me if I hadn’t looked this up. Might I have also eaten pooding? Might I have liked it? Probably. Thankfully I’ll never know. For those who have unknowingly tasted this ‘tactical emptying of the bowels’, it’s too late. But for the rest of us, we should be grateful for the investigative efforts of Edmeister11, Guppygould and Hugebreasticle in helping to uncover the truth: Pooding isn’t a misspelling at all - it’s a horrifying stew made by the devil in hell.
Welcome to my website, the Little Italian Man. As it takes root and grows, it will encompass an eclectic mixture of comedic forms ranging from dry and cynical to silly and sophomoric.
There are three experiences:
The first, my main blog, accesses random thoughts from my inner aspiring stand-up comic.
The second, The Scientific Journal of Science, transports the reader to an alternate universe of scientific research which is heavy on the bizarre and light on the facts.
The third, The Tomato Life, takes things down a notch with a gentle stroll through life’s simpler humors mostly as they relate to preparing fresh foods.
I hope this is as fun to read as it has been to write.
Feel free to follow me on my social media links above.
Last but not least, I am eternally thankful for the help of a few talented and inspiring individuals without which this website would not exist. They know who they are and how grateful I am.